Boosting Small Group Love This Valentine's Day. It’s almost here. The most awkward day in the small group calendar year. V- Day as some group leaders call it. The only holiday on the books where how you celebrate is determined by your relationship status. I think that’s why the romance element of Valentine’s Day throws a curveball at just about any group dynamic (The one exception may be groups made up solely of married couples). That said, any good group leader like you is going to try to figure out how to turn V- Day into an opportunity for group growth instead of seeing it as a hurdle. And to help you with that, I’ve got three tried and tested ideas for you.
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Learn your group’s love languages (Any Group) – Ever heard of the 5 Love Languages? Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a pretty well- known book by that title where he showed how each of us feel and express love in one of 5 ways: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Wait, isn’t this just for your spouse to know about you?” you retort. Not really. The point of the study is to help us understand how we are wired relationally. So regardless of WHO we are interacting with, knowing how we are wired to respond to someone is valuable intel. Make it happen: Have each group member take an online free assessment before group. During group time, share your results and use them as a springboard to discussing how your group can be more intentional in carrying out the “one- another” commands of scripture given what you now know about each other.
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Wedding Themed Group Night (Married Couples Groups) – For married couples, it’s almost always a healthy, and usually entertaining, exercise to tell the story of your wedding day (Note, I said ALMOST always. Some people have some not so great memories. Just remember that. Let’s keep going though). Valentine’s Day affords a natural opportunity for couples to share their stories of how they met, fell madly in love, and exchanged vows in the waning hours of a hot summer day (my story, anyway).
Use ol’ V- Day as a chance to hear everyone’s stories in one night and have a good time getting to know one another. Make it happen: Have each couple find and bring their wedding photo album to small group night. Theme the rest of the night. Find or make something resembling wedding cake. You’ve gotta get some punch, and just let the wedding theme come to you from there. Lay the albums out around the room to peruse as you all get there. Then take a little time to allow couples to share their story during group time.
Huge win. 3. Serve One Another (Any Group) – Listen, I’m gonna go ahead and say what needs to be said. If there are people in your group with kids, you could do a BIG favor in their eyes by offering to hang with the children so they can go out on a V- Day date. By doing this, you not only show you care about them as friends, but you care specifically about their marriage, and this is how you can help. Do you have any idea how loved they will feel to be OFFERED childcare instead of having to go search for it! Modified version: If all of you have kids, set up a childcare trade- off over a couple of nights between two or three families. Make it happen: It’s easy really. Have a couple of people from group (unless you are a pro, don’t baby- sit alone, ok?) call a family and offer to watch the kids on Valentine’s Day.
This isn’t rocket science. Serve your community (Any Group) – Sadly, Valentine’s Day can be a self- centered holiday. As Christians, we know the love of the gospel is self- less. It gives expecting nothing in return.
Because we’ve experienced generosity in the cross, we desire to share this generosity with others. So make V- Day about loving others instead of worrying about how you are loved. Maybe this is the time to begin developing a relationship with an area of need in your community. Make it happen: Check with your pastors or leaders to see what local outreach ministry your church or organization may be partnered with already. Set up a time to have your group serve with them during V- Day week. Regardless of what you do, remember V- Day is not a small group obstacle but an opportunity. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Valentine Themes for Church Parties. When deciding on valentine themes for church parties it is important that you choose something that will make everyone feel comfortable and welcome. Of course, you will plan a romantic couples- only banquet much different than a party that will include all the members and age groups of your congregation; but, the emphasis should be on having fun and spreading the message of love that is expressed during the Valentine season. So, choose a theme, add a dash of your own creativity and enjoy spending a LOVE- ly evening with your church family. Valentine Themes.
Bible Couples Valentine Theme. Transform your church into Ancient Rome, Greece, Egypt, or Israel and then bring the great love stories of the Bible to life by asking participants to dress as famous Bible couples such as Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Moses and Zipporah, or Mary and Joseph. If your party is not couples- only, you could expand this theme to include Bible Families. Ancient Times Archway. Evening in Paris Valentine Theme. Twinkling lights, soft music, and a backdrop of the Eiffel Tower will transport guests to the beauty and intrigue of the most romantic city in the world.
Set up little “cafe” booths that feature famous French cuisine such as pastries, gourmet chocolate and truffles, cheese, crepes, and maybe even some ratatouille. Depending on the group, you may like to have people dress in evening attire and plan a dance “under the stars”, or if your party includes a lot of children and singles, you can have a little fun by learning a few traditional French group dances. Venice Nights Valentine Theme. Recreate the beautiful architecture and romance of a Venice village and invite church members to enjoy a sampling of Italian cuisine, classical music, and renaissance art. Strap wheels to the bottom of light canoes or kayaks and have couples compete in “gondola” races, or have an Italian Serenade where husbands sing love songs to their lovely ladies. Of course, the best serenade deserves a prize.
Again, if you have a lot of singles, make the gondola race girls versus guys, and have a love song karaoke contest instead of a romantic serenade. Valentine Costume Party. Decorate with the traditional hearts and roses, and then ask church members to come decked out in their best Valentine attire. You can have a conservative “red and white” theme, or make it more of a costume party that encourages extravagance, homemade accessories, and even a little silliness.
Valentine Candy Party. Valentine's Day is about love and candy - and nothing says “I love you” better than lots and lots of candy! Transform your church into a quaint candy store – red, white, and pink, of course – and ask everyone to bring their favorite Valentine candy treat to share. With cinnamon hearts, candy lips, chocolate roses, and conversation hearts, your party will be absolutely delectable. Play Valentine candy trivia, use foil wrapped hearts as backgammon or checkers pieces, and swap ping pong paddles for giant heart- shaped lollipops. Valentine Tea. Have a mother- daughter Valentine's tea, or extend the invitation and show the love of the season to other ladies in the community. Serve heart- shaped cookies, chocolate covered strawberries, or have a cupcake decorating contest.
You may even want to rent a room at a local retirement home and bring a special Valentine's tea party to the elderly and lonely. Valentine Party Ideas and Games. Ask for wedding pictures of couples in your church, mount and number them, and see how many people can correctly identify who is in each picture. If any ladies still have their wedding gowns, you can display them as part of your decorations and have a contest to see who can match the gown with the bride.
Valentine Pictionary or Charades are always crowd pleasers and suitable for almost any age group. Mix a few “love” scriptures in with traditional Valentine phrases and objects. Set a timer and see which couple or team can identify the most Scriptures that include the word “love”. Have a family Valentine scavenger hunt. Play The Dating Game or The Newlywed Game and have fun seeing how the young couples fare against those who have been married for several years. Give everyone a conversation heart and have them try to find the person who completes a given sentence. For example, if one guest has the phrase “You're sweet”, they may have to find the person whose heart says “Cutie pie”.
Or, break love Scriptures into sections and have people mingle while finding the guests who complete the verse. You can even use this method to determine table seating if you are having a dinner.
Whether couples, singles, kids – or a mixture of all three – a Valentine party is a great way to celebrate the season of love. By incorporating a few simple Valentine themes and ideas, you can plan a church party that everyone will enjoy.
In fact, it just might become an annual event! Join in on Party Chats at Diva Girl Parties and Stuff Facebook.